A Good Weird
by tsurikato
Summary: Puredialogue&OOC: Ino has a problem. For some reason, this fic doesn't really express much of it, but she DOES have a problem! You just have to move aside Sakura, Tenten, and Hinata's comments and then you'll get the plotlessness of it all! ShikaIno


**Disclaimer**: SOMEDAY, THERE WILL BE A CONTRACT WITH MY NAME ON IT.

This came as a plot bunny (which will now be referred to as plunnie, thanks to Candyland) when Mei and I were talking about someone. She asked me about what I thought of him, and it came out kind of weird.

No pun intended.

A kind of challenge for me: keep the fic pure dialogue. I say 'kind-of' because I'm not that good with details at all, and I find myself better at dialogue. This is what happens when an author's perverted side is let free and able to type.

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"Sakura. Can you please tell me what's wrong with me?"

"Ino, stop scratching your head so furiously. You just put on nail polish."

"AH SHIT."

"It's not like it's abnormal to see a ninja's hair with red. People might think it could be blood."

"If it's still the same shade of red after a few hours, it's not blood, Hinata. Remember? It clots and turns blackish after a while."

"Aah, that's true…"

"Tenten! Someone! Can you PLEASE just answer my question?"

"About what?"

"Can you tell me what's wrong with me?"

"Other than everything?"

"What's the problem, Miss Ino?"

"Thanks for listening, HINATA."

"What are friends for?"

"So anyways, my problem."

"Like the ones you always have, Ino."

"Something's bugging me."

"About what?"

"AH! Hinata! Don't scare me like that!"

"Heh, sorry, Miss Ino. What's bugging you?"

"It's not more like what, it's more like who."

"Shikamaru."

"Oh my gosh! Tenten! That's already the third time we said something in unison! Let's be sisters!"

"Stole the words right out of my mouth, Sakura!"

"IT'S NOT—"

"Upupup! Ino, your new year's resolution was to not deny the truth anymore!"

"Okay, FINE. It IS Shikamaru."

"What's so wrong about Shikamaru?"

"I don't know. Lately, every time I look at him, there's this really irritating feeling I get."

"So irritating you scratch your head all the time?"

"Yes! And then my hair gets messed up, and Shikamaru notices it, and I don't know why but I feel like I have to fix it! Why the hell do I have to look good for SHIKAMARU, out of all people in the world?"

"Is it something about his face?"

"And the fact that every time I see it, I go crazy?"

"Crazier than you already are? Oh my god, this is good."

"His face? What's so special about his face?"

"Other than the fact that it classifies as GOD. Next to Neji, of course."

"My cousin has a beautiful face, yes, but I find Kiba's face very cute."

"You haven't SEEN Naruto's smile."

"I'm sure we have, Sakura. After all, he's doing it a lot, lately."

"No! Not THAT smile. I mean the kind of smile I get every night we—"

"Details not necessary."

"Okay, fine, Shikamaru's face is nice to look at."

"Not to mention his body."

"Hey! How do you know about that?"

"Nara's body? PLEASE, Ino. I've been on plenty of missions with him, and I have to tell you, he is FINE."

"I thought you had Neji."

"Of course I do! That doesn't mean I don't get to indulge on other men."

"I'm not so sure about that…"

"What do you mean?"

"When Neji is mad, he's **mad**. You remember that one time when that lecher…uh…"

"Slapped my ass in front of Neji? Yeah."

"You were too drunk to remember."

"So?"

"Neji landed him in the hospital, and he stayed there for two months."

"…Oh."

"Well, back on Shikamaru, what other kind of feeling do you get?"

"Uh…well…"

"C'mon, Ino, spill. It's a girl's night. We can talk about crazy sex and stuff like that."

"Hey! How come you stopped me when I was going to mention Naruto and me?"

"Pssh. No one wants to hear that."

"Actually, Miss Sakura, truth be told, we hear it all the time. Every time we pass by your house or Naruto's apartment."

"…Jeez, you guys could have always told us we were too loud. We could have done it in the closet or something."

"Hum…That sounds kinky."

"What were you saying, Miss Ino?"

"Shikamaru makes me feel…weird."

"Like horny?"

"NO. OH MY GOD, NO. Sakura, do NOT mention that word around me AGAIN."

"Hell, what is Naruto doing to your mind?"

"What kind of weird?"

"…A good weird."

"Good weird?"

"Yeah, a good weird. Not the scary kind of weird because that's just weird."

"…That made SO much sense, Ino."

"Shut up, forehead girl."

"Uh, maybe you're in love?"

"With that lazy idiot? Hell no!"

"Hey, look at it this way. Hinata, shy girl with big boobs, got Kiba, the toughie-but-softie and dog-lover."

"Ah!"

"Hinata, there's really no need to cover them. They're big enough."

"But!"

"Then there's Sakura, forehead girl and used-to-be avid fangirl of Uchiha, who got together with Naruto, loud-mouthed idiot who's next in line to be Hokage, not to mention was the deadly rival of Saskay Uchiha."

"You mean _Sasuke_, Tenten?"

"Large foreheads are a sign of intelligence!"

"You say that so many times but we still make fun of you, forehead girl."

"And then look at me! Tenten matches up with the egotistical bastard, Neji!"

"Where's YOUR description, eh?"

"Why do I need one? I'm Tenten. I don't even have a last name."

"What's your point, bun-girl?"

"God dammit, can you STOP giving everyone nicknames, Ino?"

"I can't help it! It's a habit!"

"Next thing you know, she's going to call Hinata boob-girl."

"Can you guys please stop mentioning my breasts?"

"Okay, on topic with Shikamaru—"

"On topic? Since when were we ever ON TOPIC?"

"Since you got on top of Naruto."

"WHAT THE HELL? That makes no sense!"

"Neither does your face."

"Your mom."

"Your mom's _pimples_."

"YOUR MOM'S DAD'S BROTHER'S PENIS. NOW SHUT UP."

"…Ooh, damn that's good. I should use that."

"Why am I here?"

"Girl's night, Hinata. Girl's night."

"But no sleepover?"

"Yeah, no sleepover."

"So, you got that nail polish out of your hair, Ino?"

"Yeah, looks like it."

"Alright! Let's get your hair dry, and then talk sex!"

"The influence that blonde-headed boy has on you is incredible."

"I thought girls don't put the word 'sex' in their conversations."

"AAH!"

"Oh…wait, it's just Shikamaru."

"…HOLY CRAP, SHIKAMARU!"

"What the hell—no wait, HOW the hell did you get in?"

"Naruto let me in. Said he had a spare key."

"…Damn idiot."

"What are you doing here, Shikamaru?"

"Picking up Ino. You have a mission tomorrow."

"Oh yeah, that's right…"

"Hinata, Kiba wants you to go see him by midnight."

"Hm? Okay, thank you."

"Any messages for me, Shikamaru!"

"Uh…no."

"Damn that Neji."

"Damn every one of our boyfriends, Tenten."

"Except Kiba."

"Haa…yes, except Kiba."

"C'mon, Ino, let's go. It's late, and I'm tired."

"Why can't you just go without me?"

"Because I'm on the same mission as you, and I still need to pack."

"You're so lazy, you idiot!"

"We've established that for the past five years or so. Now let's go. Getting you is troublesome enough."

"H-hey! Wait! My hair!"

"What about your hair?"

"It's wet! And it's late! I might get a cold!"

"Keyword: might. Your brain power is enough to avoid or prevent diseases, no matter how stupid you are. Use your imagination."

"I HATE YOU."

"That doesn't stop me from getting you out of this house."

"Byee, Ino!"

"Gasp! Fourth time, Sakura!"

"I hate you all!"

"Be careful not to get a cold, Miss Ino!"

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"Uurgh…if you had just let me dry my hair, Shika, I could have looked better!"

"For who?"

"For…for…I DON'T KNOW! You know me, I always HAVE to look good!"

"I thought your new year's resolution was not to deny the truth."

"How do you know about that!"

"You told me. New year's eve, remember?"

"…uh…"

"Thought so. You were too drunk."

"…wait, I was **drunk**?"

"I don't want to repeat myself."

"What else did I say?"

"…"

"Shikaa. C'mon. Tell mee."

"Why should I?"

"Is it something so embarrassing that you're blushing?"

"I'm not blushing!"

"So says your red face."

"Keh. Troublesome woman."

"…"

"…"

"…Not the scary kind of weird, eh? Then what's scary?"

"Someone like Shino and his bu—H-H-HEY! YOU HEARD THAT?"

"Shino's not that bad. I heard he raps."

"…What? Shino? RAPPING? What the—hey, you didn't answer my question!"

"The way you girls talk makes it seem you're on the same level as Naruto and Sakura. I can't wait 'till he finally gets his own house near the Hokage's office."

"Dammit."

"Look, your apartment. Be glad I live right next to you."

"Because if you lived across town, you wouldn't have done this unless you love me, right?"

"…"

"Good night, Shikamaru."

"Ino."

"Ye—mmph."

"…"

"…"

"…Good night."

"…g-good night."

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This was such a fun experiment.

Many thanks to Mei who read it and beta'd it for me! Rabu rabu forever!

Here's to hoping that a majority of you understood who was talking. The main point is Ino's part, and you can easily pin-point that out, but there's so many OTHER stuff around it that you can't help but read it. Since it's a group of four, then five, then two, it's hard to actually know who's talking unless you're the author. There are some speech hints that help along the way.

Oh, by the way, reviews are nice. And rapping Shino is AWESOME.


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